It’s one of those mornings. You wake up and there is just no way you can drag yourself out of bed to go to class. Your head is killing you from getting only two hours of sleep, none of your homework is done, and you’re pretty sure there are small creatures living in your laundry basket because it’s been so long since you washed any of your clothes. You need a day off, and that’s that! Now the big question is, how do you come up with a good excuse to play hooky? Here are a few ideas that are so off the wall, they just might actually work!
1. A Cow chased me up a tree.
This little trick will take some prep work. But if you plan it right, you can have a phone camera full of pictures to help you play the truant. Here’s what you need to do. Some morning when you have free time, drive around until you see a field full of cows that has a lot of trees. Pick a tree that has a lot of cows grazing nearby. Then you’ll need to climb the tree, and wait for a cow to come grazing beneath you. Snap a picture of the cow below you. When you need to skip class, text or email this picture to your teacher and say, “I can’t make it today, a cow chased me up a tree!”. The photo will be evidence enough to prove the validity of your situation. Now, a cow is just an idea. You could also try a vengeful chicken that chased you onto the coop roof or a playful goat ripped your jeans (you’ll have to supply a goat with a chunk of a pair of jeans for this one to be believable).
2. Send in a doctor’s note.
The only way this age-old ploy really works is if you are willing to let yourself be a bit embarrassed. If the malady you put on the note is something that might be extremely awkward for the teacher to ask about or verify in person, then you don’t need to worry about it coming back to bite you in the butt (and no, that can’t be your excuse, it’s too easily verifiable!). Try using excuses that involve temporary bodily malfunctions which will have completely disappeared by the next class period, such as diarrhea, a sudden rash, or food poisoning from eating bad sushi.
3. Your sister/brother/roommate is sick.
This is another oldie, but a goodie. The old “sick person that I know and have to take care of excuse” is especially effective because it’s very difficult for teachers to double check on the situation. Some people prefer to take this to an extreme and say that someone died, but that one is far too easily verified. There are so many great ways to make this excuse interesting! One of the best ways to mix it up is not to say that you had to take someone to the emergency room, but to say that you had to go pick up medicine for them and got stuck in line at Wal-Mart because the old man checking out your items was absolutely the slowest checker in the history of the world. You might even want to snap a picture of an old man at Wal-Mart the next time you are there (taking a cue from point 1), and then you can send it in with your email about your roommate’s sister’s brother’s cousin’s illness. Distract the teacher’s focus from the obviousness of the fake “illness” excuse and you will be home free!
I just give one caution for users of these excuses, as with telling any lie, you could end up facing some very uncomfortable situations if you are found out. Honesty is always the best policy. But if you are going to lie either way, do it with style and flare. If you go down, go down in flames of glory that can be posted on Facebook and Twitter to entertain your friends!
About the Author
Tiffani Azani is a freelance writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers connects people looking to earn a college degree with accredited online colleges who can help them reach their educational and career-oriented goals.