Nerdy or Just Lazy? Three Technologies That Push the Envelope on Sloth


In today’s tech-crazy world, all kinds of things that were originally more complicated can be accomplished with a few clicks of the mouse or tapped out on touch-pad. Forget buying envelopes, stamps, and waiting weeks for a reply- an email, text, or instant message will suffice. Gone are the days of searching for a payphone or even owning an answering machine- everyone carries a phone in their pocket. But at what point does convenience in the form of technology become downright lazy? Here are three advances that border on simple sloth.

#1 – Japan’s Virtual Grocery Store

While having huge grocery orders delivered makes sense, who on earth can’t manage to pick up milk or juice on their way home? Japan has over 50,000 konbini, which are similar to our convenience stores. Japan is only approximately 142,000 square miles. Even if the people were spread out over the entire surface area, which they are not, that means there is a convenience store every 2.84 miles. In reality, konbini are on nearly every corner in residential areas. Nearly all of them never close.

People that might get a pass: the handicapped and those who, somehow, do not live within reasonable walking distance of a konbini.

Sloth Level: Impressive.


#2 – Automatic Lawn Mowers

Okay, so using a lawn mower that isn’t self-propelled can be a real drag. It’s heavy, dirty, sweaty work. However, self-propelled technology allows you to simply walk behind the mower and steer it. You might be required to give it a push going up inclines. Maybe. However, for just shy of three grand, you can have your very own automatic lawn mower. While this may seem great for those with gigantic yards, the most expensive model will only cut .6 of an acre before needing to be refueled. Other companies sell environmentally-friendly, fuel-free versions that run off of solar power. If your yard lies primarily in shade, you’re out of luck.

People that might get a pass: those with difficulties ambulating, the elderly, or those who suffer from horrendous allergies.

Sloth Level: Conditional, but still pretty lazy.


#3 – Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes

Are you kidding me? Considering that it is indeed possible to train most cats to use the toilet, a litter box as a permanent fixture is pretty lazy to begin with. For the past decade or so, the self-cleaning litter box has been a staple of late-night TV ads. After your cat uses the box, a motorized comb runs through the litter and deposits the clumps into a bin, which you then dump out. It costs anywhere from 30 to 170 dollars. A scoop, a standard box, and a box of disposal gloves (for the extremely squeamish) can all be had for under ten bucks at the dollar store. Get a grip!

People who might get a pass: pregnant women, those with breathing difficulties, owners of multiple elderly cats, or the disabled.

Sloth Level: Epic.

While most technological wonders are a step in the right direction, these three are shining examples of laziness writ large. Get outside. Walk down to the store. Mow your lawn. Spend three minutes a day scooping the cat box. Movement is good for cardiovascular health, and some sun exposure is essential for your vitamin D levels. Don’t be afraid to get even the smallest bit of exercise!


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