Have you found yourself in a relationship with someone who seems like they’re cheating on you – with fictional characters? It can be extremely frustrating to be with someone who spends hours every day playing video games or role playing games.
Sometimes, it may feel like they don’t want to be with you, or care more about remote online game players.
Rest assured, this is probably an unfounded worry. A lot of times, especially if they began playing games after you got together, they may just not realize how much of their time their nerdiness is taking up. It may be your job to point it out to them.
What to Do
The key to handling someone who loves nerdy activities is compromise. Tell them that you can deal with their interests, as long as they make an effort to deal with yours. Suggest spending time doing each activity when you’re together.
For instance, say you love sports.
- Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you can spend Saturday morning playing video games together, and then you want to watch football.
- Or suggest going for a run first thing in the morning, followed by a couple of rounds of their favorite video game before a shower.
If you simply don’t like the games they play, try doing some of your own research to figure out which games might interest you. You don’t have to buy them – just rent them, bring them to your significant other, and say that you want to try a new game. They will probably be thrilled that you took any interest in their chosen activity.
Who knows? You may even find that you enjoy games nearly as much as they do. And if you don’t, there are ways to amuse yourself.
- You could create an outrageous character for the sole purpose of beating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s character.
- Focus on the interaction you have within the game, rather than the game itself.
- You might be able to channel your flirtatious energy, or even your aggressiveness, into the game.
What if your significant other is a tech nerd? He or she loves computers and gadgets, and spends days holed up in the bedroom, playing with wires. Well, you can take the same approach.
Explain to them that you feel like you’re being neglected, and that they should make time for you.
Of course, technology obsession can lead to another major problem – financial troubles.Make sure that your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is not over spending on technological toys.
If you suspect they are, calmly explain the situation and suggest working out a budget together.
- Do not become upset if they go slightly over the budget, unless it is a real financial concern.
- Do, however, remind them that you made a decision together, and that they should stick to it.
They May Be Social Creatures
Whether your boyfriend/girlfriend is in love with technology or games, there is one important thing to encourage: social interaction. Most gaming is based on socializing with other people who have the same interests, so chances are, you are actually with a very social person.
It just may not seem like it when they choose to play games over going to a party. Make it known that you want to spend time with groups of people, so that you do not get stuck in a rut.
If your significant other makes no effort to meet you in the middle, and you feel like they never will, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship.
Try not to give an ultimatum, in which you threaten to end the relationship if they do not scale back on their nerdy interests.
Remember, there is a reason why you are together, even if you may not share their passion for role playing. Most of the time, if you make it known that their excessive interest makes you unhappy, they will try to change their habits.