What Do Nerds Like?

Nerd giving two thumbs up

I recently checked my Google Analytics visitor logs to see what people are searching for when they come across the site. Surprisingly, there are some very weird things that people are looking for. That is for another post though.  One thing that comes up quite often (could be the site title, huh?) is a list of things that nerds like. Well, never one to disappoint I have created an impressive list of things nerds find appealing.  Enjoy!

Technology

  • Computers – Most likely they’re best friends with their laptop or PC.
  • Hardware and Software Design – Because they figure the only way to get a girl is to make their own.
  • Social Networking sites – Because having a million virtual friends online is better than having 999,995 friends that you do not have in real life.
  • Robotics – Because they dream of creating the perfect girl one day that will accept them for being a nerd. How ironic.
  • Xray glasses- Because they work right?
  • Degrees in technology and engineering – Because if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be consider smart.
  • iPhone – Siri is about the only woman willing to talk to you without being paid.
  • Trolling Forums – Because it is a good substitute for playing regular things like baseball or basketball.
  • Space Travel – Too many mouth-breathers taking up precious space on Earth.

Check out my server rack. Don't be jelly.

Entertainment

  • The Big Bang Theory – Because of this show, you now think its super sexy to be a nerd.
  • WWE – Because this is real and not rigged.
  • Harry Potter – Because you still believe that you can figure out some sort of scientific discovery that will allow you to have magic powers.
  • Guitar Hero – Because you my friend are a rock star.
  • Dungeons and Dragons – This needs no explanation and there are no words to describe why and how nerds feel for this. Pure passion.
  • Batman – Nothing is any more intimidating than tights, fake abs and a utility belt.
  • NCIS and Law And Order – Because you like watching the scenes where they use high tech technology to catch criminals, but you believe that what they use on the TV shows can be modified and you could do a better job catching criminals.
  • SIM City and other virtual reality games – Because that way they can learn skills without ever having to have real relationships (which protects from embarrassing moments and revealing situations).
  • Chess – Because it is associated with weird geniuses.
  • Nerds like virtual games like World Of WarCraft because being a virtual warrior is so much better than a 90lb weakling in real life.
  • Star Wars – I dare YOU to dress up like a Storm Trooper and walk through the mall.
  • Star Trek – It is the dream of all nerds to travel the stars and leave all the dullards on Earth.
  • Myth-Busters – Because everyone on that show is a nerd.
  • Munchkin – When your two friends can’t come over and you need an RPG fix, this will work with the little siblings.
  • Telescopes – Because looking for stars and planets is the perfect way to spend a Saturday night.
  • Neil deGrasse Tyson – The holy grail of nerdom: intelligent, funny and sociable. He gives hope to the rest of us.
Neil deGrasse Tyson

Doncha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?

Lifestyle

  • Sobriety – Can’t figure out this javascript problem with a hangover.
  • Difficult instructions – So they can whip through them saying things like: “you mean you don’t understand this?”
  • Station Wagons – You need that extra space for all the broken electronics and computers you find on the side of the road.
  • Cats – Because it keeps them company and distracts them from ever hanging out with other people.
  • Nerds love company – But not too much or they might be viewed as “normal.” Being viewed as normal can damage any good-nerd reputation.
  • Nerds love to be counted on. This assures them that they have a shelf life that is useful, and this helps them know they will wake up in the morning.
  • Numbers – Because they believe they can solve anything through numbers and statistics.
  • Nerds like unusual foods with weird smells and odd colors. This is to ensure a reputation of “weird” to protect the coveted nerd status.
  • Nerds do not usually voice spiritual opinions for fear they may offend a non-existent deity who can smite them at will.
  • Geology – Rocks are so entertaining. I can’t get this one to shut up.
  • Avoiding Social Situations – Because performing social rituals incorrectly is worse than not being known.

Attire

  • Snuggies – Because anyone to actually buy one of these has to be a nerd.
  • Fanny Pack – Where else are you going to put your 85 spare jump drives? You might need to load WoW on your aunt’s computer at your next visit. Not that her ’84 Tandy could handle it.
  • Canvas Sneakers – They were out in the 90’s, along with that entire outfit.
  • Horn-rimmed glasses – Nerds were wearing these before Hipsters highjacked the look.
  • Pocket Protectors – Wrap it up. Every pen, every time. Bonus points if it sports the local electronics shop logo.
  • Semi-Witty T-Shirts – Because Spock with a goatee will help out with the chicks.
  • Hoodies – Covers up the Chef Boyardee stains and keeps you warm. That’s 2 points!
  • Inhalers – You may have trouble catching your breath when they peel the top off of that new fume hood.

Nerds are a unique type of people. They are known to be among the intellectually elite but also a bit awkward. These people have a unique assortment of interests that make them a distinguishable group of society. With their many unique interests they are able to enjoy their lives and have things to be passionate about. I hope you now have a better idea of what these people truly enjoy.

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Category: Geek Life

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  1. mosteminentdude says:

    OMG this is too freakin’ funny. I think I hit most of the checklist. my friends call my server rack the spaghetti factory because of all the wiring in the back… a must share…

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